Practical Tools for Trauma-Informed Coaching

The Body Knows: A Three-Part Series on Trauma-Informed Coaching

Coaching isn’t just a conversation—it’s a nervous system encounter. This three-part series explores what happens when safety and presence become central to the work: how trauma shows up, how we might respond, and how healing begins in the pause.

This is Part 3 exploring the nervous system, trauma responses, and practical tools for creating safer spaces.

Creating a Safer Coaching Space

Your nervous system matters too.

Nervous systems co-regulate. That means your grounding matters most. If a client begins to dysregulate and we react unconsciously, it can amplify their stress response. But if we remain grounded, we can offer the safety that their system is scanning for.

The nervous system begins to shift only when it feels:

• Safe (No threat here)
• Seen (You’re not alone)
• Supported (You don’t have to do this by yourself)
  
  

Nervous systems are like tuning forks—ours will respond to the resonance of the other. 

Here are some practical tools to support that safety. You don’t need to use them all. Start with one that feels accessible. 

Why This Matters in Coaching

Consider how often you have experienced clients in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. 

And how often has it impacted:

• Their follow-through?
• Their clarity?
• Their connection with you?
  
  

When a client is in a stress response, they aren’t fully present. They might agree to something they can’t follow through on. They might shut down or over-function to avoid discomfort. They’re not resistant — they’re protective.

Practical Tips for Coaches

Trauma-informed coaching doesn’t mean treating trauma. It means recognizing trauma responses and adjusting our pace, tone, and presence to avoid reinforcing harm.

Regulate Yourself First 

If you find yourself getting activated in session, that’s okay. We’re human too. What matters is noticing, naming, and repairing. A simple ‘Let’s take a breath together—I noticed I got a little caught up too’ can shift the tone and model co-regulation. 

Before trying to “help,” check in with your own body. Are you holding your breath? Are your shoulders tense? Is your voice speeding up? A calm coach helps create a calm container.

Here are a few ways to reconnect to yourself in the moment:

• Grounding your feet
• A deep breath before you speak
• Slowing your speech
• Softening your tone

Notice the Cues (Without Pathologizing)

You’re not diagnosing — just observing.

Watch for:

• Silence, shutdown (Freeze)
• Agitation or pushback (Fight/Flight)
• Over-agreeing or apology spirals (Fawn)

Offer Permission, Pacing, and Pause

Instead of pushing through, offer space. Let their system breathe. 

You might say:

• “We don’t have to figure this out right now.”
• “Would it feel okay to pause here for a moment?”
• “Take your time — there’s no rush.”
• “We can come back to this whenever you’re ready.”

Some clients may wave off the offer to pause, or say ‘I’m fine’ out of habit. That’s okay too. The offer itself still matters. It signals safety, sovereignty, and choice. Over time, their nervous system learns you mean it.

Validate Without Rushing Resolution

Validation is regulation. It helps calm the inner alarm system. You’re not solving, you’re supporting. And remember, this goes for you too. You’re allowed to not have all the answers. You’re allowed to take your time. 

Try saying:

• “It makes so much sense that this feels intense.”
• “Your body’s doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you.”
• “You’re not doing anything wrong.”
• “We can take this one step at a time.”
• “Whatever you’re feeling right now is welcome.”

Invite Safety and Sovereignty

You can’t fix trauma responses, but you can create the conditions for choice. We support the nervous system in feeling safe. 

Offer curiosity, choice, and consent:

• “Would it feel supportive to explore that a bit, or pause?”
• “Is there anything your body’s asking for right now — a breath, a stretch, a sip of water?”
• “How would it feel to slow this part down together?”
  
  

You can even ask directly: ‘What helps you feel grounded or safe in this space?’ The answers may surprise you, as well as build trust in the process. 

Healing and growth happen in the space between threat and thriving. The middle place where we’re not in danger, but not yet fully secure. That’s the liminal space where real change begins. 

Trauma-informed coaching is not about fixing. It’s about witnessing with care, pacing with presence, and partnering with the body’s innate intelligence.

In many ways, trauma-informed coaching lives in the liminal. In the space between knowing and not-knowing; doing and being. 

A Liminal Pause

Try this: In your next session, take one deep breath before speaking. Then, gently notice:

– Where is your attention?

– What does the space feel like now?

– What might your client’s nervous system be sensing from you?

Notice what changes in you—and in the space between you and your client.
You don’t need to do more to be trauma-informed. You need to be more present.

This is the final post in our trauma-informed coaching series. I hope it’s offered more than tools. But more importantly, I hope it’s given you permission. Permission to slow down. To honor the body. To meet resistance with reverence. 

Want to stay with the liminal a little longer? Next week, we’ll explore how nervous system regulation, predictable structure, and attuned presence create the fertile ground for deep, sustainable transformation. If you’ve ever wondered how to hold space without overstepping or burning out, this one’s for you.