What Coaches Need to Know About Trauma Responses

The Body Knows: A Three-Part Series on Trauma-Informed Coaching

Coaching isn’t just a conversation—it’s a nervous system encounter. This three-part series explores what happens when safety and presence become central to the work: how trauma shows up, how we might respond, and how healing begins in the pause.

This is Part 1 exploring the nervous system, trauma responses, and practical tools for creating safer spaces.

You’re not trying to do therapy. But somehow, big emotions keep showing up in your sessions, and maybe you’re not sure what to do with them.

Coaching is often a liminal space. A threshold between where a client has been and who they are becoming. Trauma responses can also show up here. Coaches are not therapists, but they are humans working with other humans, which means coming up against trauma responses. They’re not barriers to overcome, but intelligent survival patterns. The real question is: is it safe to cross this threshold yet?

Coaches care deeply about not doing harm. But without trauma literacy, they may:

• Mistake nervous system shutdown for ‘lack of motivation’
  
  
• Pushing when pausing would be safer
  
  
• Shame clients without meaning to
  
  
• Get emotionally flooded themselves 

None of this makes you a bad coach. It just means you need more tools. 

Mindset vs. Nervous System 

I wonder if this is familiar to you? I'm meeting with a client, let's call her Jane, who wants to exercise more. She tells me she’s excited to start a Couch to 5K program because her best friend is doing one. She knows it will improve her health and help her manage family and work stress. She’s clear that taking time for herself is important. She’s enthusiastic and ready to begin.

Great, right?

However, Jane tells me she can't start this week. She has a big deadline at work, her mom needs help planting flowers, and she's planning her daughter's birthday party. All very reasonable.

As we continue to work together, Jane shares more reasons why she can’t start, even while reaffirming how much she wants to. When I suggest starting small, even just one short walk, she gets annoyed. Her energy shifts. By the end of the session, she seems shut down. 

It all started so well! What happened? Why is Jane suddenly resistant? 

Here’s the thing: Jane’s not resistant. From her perspective, she has real reasons she can't start. And she wants to do the Couch to 5K. Both are true. When working with clients, it’s important to understand and honor both these parts. In response, I took a step back, and explored what was coming up. Jane shared that growing up, her mother constantly told her what to do, how to do it, and she would be yelled at if she didn’t follow through. Jane would then feel ashamed and sometimes even scared. Her body learned that autonomy wasn’t safe. We were able to shift and help Jane move forward in a way that's safe for her and moving towards the goal she wants. 

What looked like resistance was actually protection. When I gently questioned Jane about her blocks, her nervous system heard judgment, it felt like she was in trouble again. Her body did what it had learned to do: defend, prove, and please. That’s not sabotage. It’s survival. Without meaning to, she started trying to prove to me she was doing her best. 

That moment? It was a trauma response.
This is why trauma-informed coaching isn’t just helpful. It’s essential. 

Why Mindset Isn’t Enough

Traditional coaching models often focus on mindset: "What thought is keeping you stuck?" But when the nervous system perceives a threat, mindset alone cannot override it. Telling someone to “just believe” in themselves or “take the leap” when their body is in freeze or fawn can reinforce shame or even deepen dysregulation.

Mindset lives in the prefrontal cortex. It’s where logic and goal-setting happen. But trauma lives in the body. When someone’s in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, they aren’t being irrational. They’re being protective. That’s why a ‘positive affirmation’ can sometimes feel like pressure, not encouragement. 

A trauma-informed coach doesn't bypass mindset, but knows it's just one part of a much bigger picture. As a coach, you might feel confused, rejected, or even frustrated. That’s normal too. This is where co-regulation—not control—becomes your most powerful tool. 

When a client seems stuck, ask: What might this protect them from? Shift from “How do I push them past this?” to “How do I make it safer to move forward?” Your curiosity co-regulates. Your compassion grants permission. 

Your clients don’t need to be pushed—they need to feel safe enough to move. This is the quiet power of trauma-informed coaching: we meet protection with permission. Slow down. Get curious. That’s where real transformation begins. 

A Liminal Pause 

Before you try to move a client forward… pause. What if this resistance isn’t a block, but a boundary? Here are a few questions to reflect on. Use them as journal prompts, peer coaching topics, or gentle check-ins during client sessions. 

What does “resistance” look like in your clients?

How can that “resistance” be reframed as protection?

How might I respond differently if I see it as protection instead of sabotage?

Where do I feel urgency in sessions? Is that mine or theirs?

What does safety look like, not just success?

Want to stay with the liminal a little longer? Next week, we’ll explore how trauma responses like Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn might quietly show up in your coaching sessions—and how to recognize them with care, not control.